People always leave
There comes a point in your life when you realize who is really going to be there for you and who is really not. I feel like everyone should at least have the privilege to not only be blessed by a person like this, but to be one. It's kind of odd how it works, you don't just meet someone and automatically know that they will always be there for you. I'm going to be real honest, it's scary getting close to people. I'm scared of the regret that I'll feel after they leave. People can promise you that they will stay, but they will still walk away. People can lock eyes with you and still have the guts to lie. Sometimes it's at the times when you need them most that they decide to vanish from your life. Either you say too much, or you don't say enough and then they're gone. I always tend to distance myself from people when they try and get close. I have a hard time letting people in after all the times I've let people in and they took advantage of it. I keep pushing people away, when all I really want it someone to be here for me. I always feel like I'm not good enough, but in the end it doesn't even matter because I know they'll leave. People always leave. Let me tell you, it sucks. Leaving me is okay. People leave me all the time. I'm used to it, but what hurts the most is how you can make me feel so special yesterday but so unwanted today. Letting people go isn't even the hard part, it's the memories that taunt your brain. It's the things they did that no one else will ever be able to recreate. It hurts when people leave, but if you get lucky, I mean real lucky, some will stay…
To the person who never left,
You know who you are, I don't need to label you for you to know, but I do need you to understand something. I know that you shouldn't put your happiness in the hands of a person, but I did, and I don't think I would have put my happiness in the hands of a person if I didn't think that they were going to handle it with care. I am beyond blessed, not only to have all the things I do have, but to have you. Before I met you, I always doubted my worth. I never thought that meeting someone could change my whole perspective on life. I never thought that a single person could absorb so much about me. The things I like, the things I don't like, the simple things that make me happy and the things that aggravate me. I don't know what it is really, it may be your voice, or the way you look at me, but something that you do makes me feel important. I give you a lot of credit, sometimes I can barely put up with myself, so I have absolutely no idea how you do it. I'm stubborn I know I am. I don't like being wrong. I can be honest with you, even if I don't want to tell you the truth I know you won't judge me. You accept my mistakes, even if they're stupid. You always take care of me and make sure that I'm okay. There isn't enough ink, paper, time, nor words in this world to describe how much you mean to me, how much you have influenced and changed me, and how much you've transformed me into a better person. I don't think that I would be near in the same place I am today if I didn't have you. When I met you there was just something about you. I thank god everyday for you. I thank him for putting you in my life.
Sometimes you meet someone, and it's obvious that the two of you on some level belong together. As lovers, as a family, as friends, or even something entirely different. You somehow manage to work together, whether you understand one another or you're partners in crime, or you're in love. You're going to meet these people throughout your life, out of the blue, under the strangest of circumstances and they'll help you feel magical and alive. I don't know if that makes me believe in coincident, fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something. I can't thank you enough for making me feel so important and for giving me something to believe in. People always leave, but if you're lucky, if you're real lucky, some will stay. Thanks for being the person who never left. I love you,
Shania
